When the day started, I had no idea where it would lead me. Meeting God (again) was not a part of my conscious mind’s thoughts- or plan for that day- and I certainly did not think I was going to die! (Again LOL) .
But before we get to that part, let’s rewind to the year 2019.
The day started like any other day. I got up and the sun was shining brightly. I made breakfast, then spent some time outside- breathing, stretching- loving on and grounding my body. The night ahead featured a full moon in Taurus , after all, (my sun sign) - which brings in energies of love and warmth all packed behind the headstrong head butt of the bull- (who as I’m now realizing will head butt you so hard- from the inside out and the outside in- that your ego, shadow, thoughts and fears have no other choice but to completely subside). It’s funny because writing this now and reflecting back- I think what it showed me is that my ego self, my Taurus sun, needed the absolute MOST to wake up and realize what happened, who I am, and what will happen. And it’s even funnier looking back now- since I just realized that the last time I met God- was also a Taurus full moon.
Coincidence? I think THE FUCK NOT!!!! Can’t wait to continually to meet God every Taurus full moon now hehe. But anyways—-continuing on.
That day, my best friend, soul sister and roommate, Lindsi, and I decided we would have some friends over to dance- to pull cards- and to journal for the moon! We invited a few friends as the darkness began to creep upon us- and invited in the potent magic of mushrooms. It was fun, we were laughing, and we were dancing. I only took 1 gram of shrooms- small enough that I considered it a micro dose. I figured it would just enhance or add to the fun of this reality- and it did for a while.
At the time we had just gotten a pole in our living room - and we were all taking turns spinning and trying new tricks. It was so much fun to do especially with pole being a childhood dream of mine come true. (I had always wanted one after watching Jenyne Butterfly’s Dog Days are Over performance in middle school- and if you haven’t seen it- and have no idea who or what I’m talking about- I highly recommend- it’s a go ahead and even take a break then come back and read this good hehe- that woman is AMAZING).
We played music, we talked, and we walked outside underneath the warmth of the Arizona night sky. At one point, we sat in the grass outside of my apartment and just looked up to the moon. And like many times before, me and another girl (at least one typically) saw the same thing! For some reason- Lindsi and I saw what looked like a Trump like figure grabbing the moon. We both got the feeling that it almost seemed as if he was taking it or harnessing it? We didn’t know what to think of it- and it was strange that without talking- we had come to the same conclusion when we decided to bring it up. (There’s still a lot of things that I have seen and experienced that I do not understand the implications or meaning of and am still trying to piece together- if you have any thoughts while reading this please share them down below!!)
During our time outside- I remember also having an overwhelming sensation of intense anger looking up at the moon. What I was angry about? That someone had put me in such a TINY little DEMANDING AND NEEDY BODY who needs to pee SOOO MUCH. I remember being offended that they had contained so much power- into such a tiny little body. I felt as if it did not and could not match! As I stared down at the moon accusingly- I questioned why- why why. Little did I know- I would soon find out the answer.
As we moved inside- I remember, Lindsi and another one of our friends started to feel ill- I think looking back now- they probably felt the energies of the other girls and the overall moon- overlapped as one- quite strongly- so I remember them retreating into her room and resting for the rest of the night!
This then left me, with two other girls- (whom I will not name- for privacy)- still up and active for the night. This is where it starts to become dark and blurry a bit for me. I remember we took a three way bath, where all we did was sit in the tub sitting side by side talking (in the dark) as we listened to music and felt the water and sound wash over us. After that, we went to the apartment hot tub (which we actually ended up getting kicked out of by the very MEAN security guard- who was not happy we were in there past hours). He had and sent a lot of hateful and vindictive energy towards us that terrified us all! The type of energy that goes on and on and just doesn’t stop. After heading back into the apartment safely (thank God), I remember we decided to put on something and just lay in my bed to try to relax. I think at some point we just cuddled, listened to music and continued talking. This is when stuff started to get really intense and scary for me.
I kept noticing things repeating, cycling. I felt my sense of self slipping and an overwhelming sense of fear and panic make its way through me. I didn’t know what was happening. I started moving things around. I would grab one thing from around my room, put it on the ground: then I’d pick it up again, and place it in another spot for no apparent reason. I think I felt if I stayed active and busy- what was going on didn’t mean anything. But as the movements and my placements became more random and frantic, I began to do a loop. I would lay down, look at my phone, get up, turn on the light, turn off the light, walk around the apartment and then do it again. Looking back, I think I was stuck in my own personal hell, a projected negative thought spiral and loop that overtook my whole mind and body. It honestly felt like I couldn’t get out of it- no matter how hard I tried.
Each time I got back to the bed, I would feel as if I was actually being pulled backward down into the bed and when I would close my eyes, I saw a green portal of darkness that almost seemed alive. It beckoned me closer and closer, and it seemed as if it was pulling me in. Each time I got closer and closer, I got more and more terrified. I didn’t know what it was or what it was trying to do. So I would snap back up (it took all my strength to) and repeat the loop again. I’d look at my phone, which somehow was playing the same song, over and over again. No matter if I changed or skipped it, it was always the same. So, I’d get up again, try and move things around, walk around, turn on the light, turn off the light. My moves became more frantic, desperate. I think in some way, I was trying to stay in this reality. I didn’t want to leave it. I was terrified. I thought I was dying and that I was going to die. At this point I was all fear and panic- a body walking around over and over. Although I could consciously recognize what I was doing was strange- I couldn’t stop.
Eventually one of the times during my time in my room- I asked the two girls I was with if I could go outside. They said no. I asked why not and they just said it wasn’t safe and that I should say stay here. I accept it then asked what was happening next. They said nothing, we are here just laying down. I then repeated and asked if we could do something else, they said no- let’s just stay in the room. They seemed to be normal- but I didn’t feel normal at all. Nothing about it felt normal.
At this point I started to get frightened. It didn’t seem like they were listening to me or actually cared. I started to think they were entities keeping me stuck in this pattern, this loop, this room, this night, that I couldn’t get out of. I was terrified. I was in my room, but it didn’t feel safe anymore. It was cold, a dark room I could not leave. Their presence felt slightly heavy, confusing, suffocating and controlling for whatever reason- I kept fighting the green tunnel - fighting the loop- staying in bed- asking them question after question (and the same couple questions I think too) but what finally did it for me was when I asked for my boyfriend Alex, the girls I was with said he was not here. I asked why not and they said he was far away. I asked why I couldn’t see him. And they said because he was gone- not here. In my confused, terrified and childlike state, I took this as him being dead. Or that I was the one who was dead- that I was stuck in this room and that I could never or would never see him again- and that idea absolutely tore me in two. Anything that I had left holding me onto this realm- severed, and I let go. I sat on the bed and the tunnel I had been fighting so hard against had pulled me in- I had nothing in me to fight anymore.
At this point, the two girls who I was with, were so terrified and so so sooo confused. Frantic and unsure what to do (considering we were close but not really that close) they grabbed Lindsi- who I thank my stars everyday for putting into my life. They told her that I was not there, that something was wrong.
Lindsi immediately sprung to action. She grabbed me and moved me into the bathroom away from everyone. She told me based upon how I was acting it almost seemed as if I had gone into psychosis- that I was there- but also not really. At this point (which I had no idea) everyone had gone home- leaving just me and her.
I remember I was sitting on the toilet half in and half out of consciousness. During it, I remember I couldn’t stop peeing. I peed A LOT. AN INHUMAN amount. It didn’t make sense. None of it did. This was the last thing I remember- was sitting on the toilet.
The next thing I know, it is pitch black. I have no idea where I am- but I know I still am. I can’t see a thing- hear a thing. But somehow, I am still conscious- able to think? I ask where I am and nothing happens. I ask who I am- and for a second- horrified- I realize I have no idea. No idea at all. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.
As I begin to panic, cry- realizing I am truly alone- the sound “Rinka” bubbles up to the surface like a child’s cry. At first I have no idea what this word means when suddenly, I remember it is a name- my name! In a flash- as quick as it had gone- memories as Rinka and all the time I had already lived begin to flash before my eyes. I fear that I actually have died- after all, I see and hear no one but myself - and I have no idea where I actually am.
Shaking in this strange and dark place, I begin to realize that Rinka is me, but that she is not all I am. Looking down I remember feeling I had a body of some sort but not really- not here. As I continue thinking harder and longer- I realize Rinka is the name of my current form on Earth. I realize she is terrified. That I am here and she is there. But I have no idea where here is. At this point, I think and believe I died. I accepted death and was ready to move on and let go- but it didn’t end here.
What I saw next was all white. I remember feeling another presence whom I recognized as God (after all, I had met him once before)- and after being in the dark in lord knows where- I was so so sooo sooo glad to see him again. After all, I love him so so so soooo much and he has felt more like home and more like me than anything else I have ever known or been by. This time, however, instead of seeing him still conscious in our world, I was in his.
In this place, things are different but so clear. We talked but we had no mouths? We spoke but with no sounds. We were separate but had no form? It was almost an inherent knowing-telepathy of some sorts? Energy speaking to energy? Consciousness speaking to consciousness. I could see him but I couldnt at the same time? For some reason even though the details are hard to see- I remember we were sitting at a table- but it was more images and a feeling than anything actual physical.
At this table, we had so much in front of us. I remember arguing with him. I remember telling him, she’s not going to like that! Especially if we’re sending her down in that form or with that specific trait. I realized quickly we were sitting down planning my life as Rinka. I had entered the past- the time before I came down onto Earth. In this space, I already knew what my ego as Rinka, could or could not handle- her challenges- her fears. We discussed what I would look like, where I would be born, and where I would go. We discussed who my family would be, working within the designs of what was already there (on Earth) and had been already been created.
We discussed who I would meet, how I would meet them, and many other key points that we connected as we worked through the “linear” path of Rinka’s life. We discussed who else we should send down and what forms they should come in. We discussed how long certain people would be in her life and a plethora of other things. There were some points we discussed and contested on for a while, but I wasn’t going to back down when I knew. Why push so hard- if she (Rinka) broke- and then we couldn’t do what we needed to do. It needed to be just enough.
Other points were incredibly easy- joyfully easy, lovingly easy. We giggled in glee as we planned the key points of this new life to come. We knew she would be happy, loved, grateful and accepted. She would feel connected ultimately, and we would support her always, even if she couldn’t see or always remember. At this point, I as a consciousness realized just how much God not only loved me, but also respected me and listened to me. I loved him, and he loved me. Together- we wanted the best for Rinka- for me. And although that best sometimes looked different, we always talked and came to an agreement that we both felt good about. As this joyful camaraderie and deep companionship soaked in, suddenly the scene fast forwarded.
I remember feeling farther and farther from God. The separation and the space was painful. I did not want to leave. How could I leave him? And how could he let me leave him too? I remember at this point, trying to cling to him, I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to leave. I started second guessing it all. Couldn’t I stay? Did I truly need to go down again? Although we had planned so intensively and extensively- I didn’t want to go. (This made me chuckle and laugh considering all that transpired to get me to this place in the first place- and how badly Rinka too didn’t want to leave or go through the tunnel that brought me to him and this space in the first place).
Another realization I made in this was that some things about your soul stay the same. Your soul regardless of its forms or new body- or even the time or the era- still carries the same energetic signature. I have always been naturally outspoken and brave (even in the face of God hehe). However with this power also came an uncertainty. I was nervous it wouldn’t work, we had after all, I realized done this before (and not every time was successful). Sometimes- I got sent back early. Sometimes- I didn’t feel ready to go.
As I clung on tighter and tighter, fighting with all of my might, my throat and heart burned. I wanted to cry. To scream. The pain spread throughout my whole body like a depression. I realized that the pain I was feeling was not only mine, but also his. He was terrified just as I. I remember looking at him and him looking at me. At the moment- I felt like a vulnerable- raw and wild animal. And just when I least expected it, he kicked me. LIKE ACTUALLY FUCKING SPARTA KICKED ME. I screamed and fell down, down, down, down. And as I watched the space between us separate more and more - he gave me a gift, a lifeline to pass the time and soften the shock. Similar to how I had seen Rinka’s life flash before my eyes, I saw every lifetime of mine flash etched before my eyes so quickly, so rapidly. I saw it all, stretched across time, all at once. Through it all, even though I experienced hurt and pain, I also experienced love. A love and knowing so deep I had nothing but gratitude.
Somehow, someway, even if I got nervous or scared along the way, or even in the end, it always worked out. I was aways at peace looking back upon my life. I knew I gave every single one, the best I could. And that sometimes, most times, the times I left early were so that others could learn. That he and I together, had done the best that we could. And although we could plan- we could not protect me from everything. This was something I knew inherently- but I was also gifted another gift: I knew that any harm that befell me- never actually hurt me. (It just hurt the idea of who I thought I was at the time).
Even still, I will admit I was VERY salty for a long time that he kicked me down. For 3 years actually. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t have just talked it through like we had talked everything else through. Why the HELL did he have to KICK me? Even though it was God, it was FUCKING RUDE. It’s only recently (about a month ago) I understand why he did what he had to do. Prior to this, I was ready to go and give him a piece of mind when I saw him next. And I knew he would listen because he already KNEWWWW how upset I would be- yet he still did it. He knew my wrath, my anger, and yet he still did it. After thinking for a while, my heart and mind softened. I remembered it hurt him just as much, if not more to send me down- to a place we both know had not always been kind or good to me, or to us. He was terrified just as I was, but it was important for me to come down. I knew this and he knew this.
The reason for this? I was and am one of the few people who are able to ascend and descend all the realms as rapidly as I can, and I am also one of the few people who is able to handle and to hold all of his light, his shadow and his might in this world and all others as well. (Just as he can for me too hehe) We loved each other and we love each other violently- passionately. In some sense, I felt I was his equal, his mirror, his reflection, his partner. I was his companion, his lover, his wife, his other half. I remember it was just as painful as it was for him as it was for me (Possibly even more so- since he knew and we knew the harm that would and could befall me (Rinka) and this body here- especially being so tiny and cute hehe. 😉
Realizing this soothed my seething anger enough to let more clarity in. It wasn’t him who wanted that for me, nor did he plan on or want to kick me down.
After planning a life for myself as Rinka, I didn’t have the time to hesitate or wait- and neither did he. It was time. Had we waited any longer- I would have missed the window to come down. I think it was because my mom was ready to have a child- and it was time for me to enter into her and be born her child- as Rinka- just as we had planned. If I missed this window- it would have shifted everything else- so even though we wanted more time together, it was important for me to go now, in order for everything else we had planned after to happen.
At this point, I remember landing softly back into my body as Rinka. I remember blinking my eyes. I was still on the toilet, Lindsi in front of me. Her bright eyes were concerned but loving. As my eyes cleared and my energy settled back into the heaviness and denseness of this realm- I saw and felt her sweet face, soul and body visibly relax. I had not realized how tense and scared she too had gotten. She told me that she was talking to me throughout it all- but it was like it wasn’t me. She told me I even asked her where Alex was. She had to explain he was in Wisconsin and that we were in a long distance relationship. She later also told me at one point that she had said she wanted her Rinka back - to which I- she- my body- replied- “She is in there and she will be back”.
I had no recollection of this- and it further just confirmed that the soul and the body are not one- but in life they can be.
As I looked at her, my heart shined with love. I was so so soooo thankful for her. She was the one person at the time (besides God) that I trusted with my life. She was the one other person after all, who had seen and felt God when I did the first time in 2018 on the Taurus full moon. And now- here again a year later- we were at it again- just deeper this time- remembering more this time. I realized I couldn’t and wouldn’t have been able to do it without her and all of her love and light guiding me and holding me through it all. She was my guide, my love, my light that helped me home- she was the doala who helped me to rebirth and refind myself.
My heart swelled - I loved her and love her so so so much and I trust her so so sooo much. With my life. With the plan. With it all.
Lindsi and I to this day have never seen anyone pee that much. 😂 No shit- the ratio of water intake to pee that came out made no sense. (Especially if you know how tiny I am- I’m about 5’3 and 103lbs). I think in some way I was channeling a lot of energy, and in return, the heavier, darker energies I was holding onto needed to come out and be cleared in order for me to be light enough to travel. That came out of me- as pee. Think ayahuasca- and how people puke- that was me on shrooms just peeing instead. It’s also funny and absolutely hilarious to think you can experience something so magical and so divine- all the while sitting somewhere- like a toilet- butt ass naked.
I remember also that during the time when I was in and out of consciousness still, trying to grasp all that happened- where I had gone and where I was again- she would ask me questions about anything and everything. Somehow she knew intuitively how to help guide me back into my body all the whole still holding onto all of this information. She gently re-guided me back into this reality. She asked me who my favorite student was (I was a teacher at the time), she asked me what my favorite class was, and other questions that would root me back into this realm, this body, this life. When I asked what I knew- she told me I knew everything. Shocked, I remember repeating- in a small, and tiny, awe filled voice- everything? She nodded seriously- her green eyes shining at me.
I let this sink in a moment and realized it really was true. I really did know everything and so many things , some how and someway, in ways I can’t even explain- they just are- and I know. And I knew I knew. I remember crying, shaking- I was so happy to be back but also I missed where I was. I missed God. I missed him. Knowing I hesitated at the last second was something that terrified me (and like I said made me mad at God who SPARTA kicked me down here). But I also was relieved- I knew what I had waiting for me after- was even more than I could possibly imagine or dream- that I had gotten a small glimpse and taste of what comes in between and after this life. I also felt calm, more centered in my life- now realizing and fully recognizing the level of thought and care put into creating my life. (Of course there is free will and other entities and energies that do and can influence our plan). For a second too- I was sad- how could I forget? Him? Us? The work we’ve done and the work we continue to do? I felt guilty- sad- until I realized this is all according to plan. And it didn’t matter I forgot, because I remembered. I remembered. I remembered. Like I always would- like I always will. In every life time- in every age. No matter what forces work against me or us, no matter what happens to me. I will always remember- because I have been encoded to and I have chosen to.
Looking back, I believe I broke into the 9th dimension and farther. I transcended time and space. In traveling through the portal hole seeded within me, that was specifically designed to open on that specific night with the light of the full moon above shining a path for me- and Lindsi beside me here (holding it DOWN) in the Earth realm-I traveled to my life between lives (a concept talked about in the Newton Institute’s Life Between Lives- a book I ironically picked up at the Renaissance faire with Lindsi and her mom) 😂.
I think the reason for this night- this experience this travel- is because like in every lifetime before, it was and is important for me to remember. It was and is important for me to speak out. It was and is important for me to spread my visions and my word. It was and is important for me to speak my truth and share it with the world, no matter what fears I have, or no matter if I think it’s ready or I’m ready or not. Because even if it’s not all of it, I can touch parts and beings here that plant seeds that spread farther than you can ever see or realize with your human eyes. In taking human form, I realize it is sometimes easier to be here as the divine embodied and do some things than it is when you are in the astral realm in your astral form!
Furthermore- during this this time, I was lacking a lot of clarity. I was confused. I was second guessing pretty much all of my decisions and It had been a while since I felt God. I think in the heaviness and darkness surrounded this realm- it is easy to get lost, confused, and in some ways go back to sleep again. The physical form and physical realm are so strong- it almost makes it seem like any experience before this- no matter how vivid or real- is some far away dream- when it’s not- it’s just right there- waiting patiently for the right moment to reveal itself and all its magic to you!
With that looking back and reflecting on this with everything I know now, I know that even 1 gram of shrooms can be a lot (especially if you’re energetically sensitive- and it’s a full moon LOL). Please note: I had taken up to 4g in the past- and had done it multiple times by this point- and had not had an experience like this- so to have it on 1g was definitely not what I expected at the beginning of the night!!! But that’s the thing about plant medicine- it opens you up- it takes you where it wants to take you- and it truly is connected to Mother Earth, our father in the sky and more.
I also realized how important it is for people who work with plant medicine to know what they are doing and the effects of it in case something like this does happen! Luckily I was surrounded by by best friend and legit telepathic guide and communicated healer- Lindsi- who did not take me to the hospital (God knows what would have happened if she did).
I also realized how important it is also to surround yourself with people you feel safe with through and through. (Writing this now- 3 years later, with only Lindsi lasting the test of time of the girls who were over that night- I am so thankful for her- and I am so happy I have continued to vet who I surround myself with- especially since I know I am important here- and the less energy clouding my clarity the better).
I realized also on this night how words can be confusing. I’m an English education major- I taught English for 2 years and I still find myself so tripping up on words! It’s actually wild how one thing can make so much sense to one person- but mean something completely different for someone else! (Especially when applied through the filter of their ego, their experience, their trauma, their projections and their fears) For example, words and phrases like he is not here- can be completely misinterpreted and miscommunicated- especially on drugs and especially when you don’t trust deep down who you are with. What makes sense to one person- may not make sense to another. What touches one person- may not touch another the same way.
After this experience, I noticed that try to not judge or shame my choices (although it still does happen from time to time when fear or my human mind takes over at times. But for the most part, I trust and know myself and my heart as being led by God and the light and the highest good of all (Just like I have in every lifetime before). I trust and know my higher vision (even when my human mind can’t see or understand it all). I trust the Goddess and I trust God. I trust the people I have picked and I trust my path. I trust that following it and them, will lead me to a life full of love, knowledge, light and gratitude that I have experienced in every lifetime before (even the traumatic ones/ and the early ended ones). I knew that what we had created for me was amazing beyond measure- after all, it had to be to get ME to come down here again. 😂 (You can bet your ass I did not just go through ALLL of that time and time again in so many lives just to live a shit life- absolutely FUCKING NOT. This was the life that all my other lives were building up to. I had been planning and planting seeds for it- for so long.
Coming out of this experience realizing I am more than just Rinka, realizing there is more to life than just here, that there is in fact a before and an after was huge for me. After all, ever since I was a little girl (at the young age of 4- 5- 6- 7) I already wondered where we all went to after. Closing my eyes seeing darkness and imagining nothingness and decaying in the ground didn’t seem or feel right. I didn’t know if there would be a hell or a heaven, but I didn’t think it just ended just like that. I tried not to think about it but every night before I went to bed, the feelings and the thoughts would come up- as it did again during my spiritual awakening in 2018. And finally in 2019- I had my answer to what I had been seeking since I was little.
Looking back, I’m remembering more and more of my childhood now and I realize that this is not the first time I have died inside and won. This is not the first time I have thought I have died and come back. In fact, I think I have died and continue to die over and over even while alive (I think we all do in different ways whether consciously or subconsciously)- and perhaps I will write about this another time. The biggest irony of it all comes in the fact, that we are indeed living and dying at the same time. 😉
With that, my current understanding is that there is a divine feminine and a divine masculine force in this world. I think in this realm it is represented by Mother Earth and Father Sky. In that realm it is the Goddess and God. In this realm, we too mirror and reflect the divine feminine and masculine within us and around us.
But of course, these are not the only forces that exist in this world. There are forces that come from below, above, inside, and around. Some are what formed the original human and body. Some of it is a reptilian like force. Others more mammalian. Some of it is demonic. Some of it is angelic. Some of it is primal and primitive (like the human body, and the earth, and the animals) and some of it is quick, advanced and light. Each has its own energetic signature and each have impacted humanity for hundreds if not millions of years. (And in case you didn’t already know or think it by now- I like many others don’t believe the history we have been told is accurate).
Although I am not sure of the origins of each and them all- I do know that together- they work together to create and form this planet and all dimensions in, above, and around it.
Typing this now, I am still working out my own understanding on how the realms form and work as well as all of the beings in them. One thing I know for sure though is that I look forward to exploring and researching and learning and channeling this information more and more to all of you!
Writing this in 2022, 3 years later from the experience, feels surreal, and time itself is definitely a funny thing. Sometimes it passes by quickly, and sometimes it passes by slowly. Some of it feels like forever ago, and some things feel like you’ll never forget. But I think the important thing to know through it all, is that who we are cannot be touched nor tampered nor harmed by time and space. We are infinite, other worldly, and worldly. We are human and the divine woven into one. We are the dance of the light and the shadow, and many of us have been here and many other places time and time again.
I believe that we can commune with God and the Goddess directly or indirectly. I believe we can time travel. I believe we can astral project. I believe we can remote view. I believe in guides, angels, demons, reptilians, animals, and etc being embodied in human bodies because I am a non human being in a human body myself.
I believe in telepathy and a lot of other magical powers that are waiting to be birthed from our being and our duality here in this presence space and time now- we simply just need to awaken to it. Plus the more and more of us that do- the more and more of us that slip through and lift the veil- the less dense, scary and intimidating it all becomes. For if you knew the power that lies within you- you would be having all the fun hehe.
With that- I hope in writing this, that it brings you peace, clarity, awakening, hope and reassurance on your journey. I hope it reminds you that you are on fact on the right path-and that you can in fact trust your senses. I hope it reminds you that in following your heart- honoring your feelings- and realizing you are a multidimensional being having a human experience- that the experience becomes a lot easier and a lot more fun.
In being able to ride the waves with a greater understanding and more awareness, the less we project our pain, the less we continue patterns that no longer serve the human kind, and the more we tune into what is true, and awaken to the magic that has always been all around and inside of you!!
I also know that the more of us that remember- the better. There are a lot of subconscious and unseen forces that touch and work through us even now- and I also truly feel that we are at a cusp- a critical point in humanity’s timeline where many things are shifting and changing at a rapid speed. Although many people are just now waking up, I know many of us have been awake for a while- and I hope that in releasing this to the world, something that has been asking to come through for a while (but I lacked maybe the discipline, focus, and confidence to share it) that the right people find it and me.
I hope if you are reading this that you feel affirmed and honored on your path. I hope you know you are supported by beings far greater than you can ever imagine and that you are not alone. I, the Goddess and God are forever walking with you- and we love you and see you, your wild and pure heart’s desires and your most magical and mystical dreams. Trust that there is a higher path and power and sight within you and around you- at all times- and see yourself and it through- with all of your love, faith and dedication. And finally, if you knew you were supported by the whole universe- what would you do? 😉
With love, light, and clarity
Elysian on Earth
5/13/2022 0 Comments
My 25th Birthday-5/12-Taurus Style
Today I am reflecting on my birthday!🍰
I am feeling as dreamy, blessed, and abundant as the spring awakening outside and decided to capture and express gratitude for my day and life! With that, this post will cover an overview of my day, snapshots, 25 things I am grateful for, what I received (practicing feminine energy) 🌸 and more! In typical Taurus style- my day will be pleasurable, blissful, and sweet as every day of my divine life! In writing this, I hope I am able to remember and commemorate my life and days more- and be able to read this in the years to come!🌿
With that- thank you so much for tuning in, and reading my blog! Let’s get started:
My Birthday ITINERARY
25 Things I am Grateful For
1. My life- I am so proud of my journey and my experiences and learning so far- I haven’t given up and continue to look towards the horizon with bright eyes, an open heart and more faith!
2. Honey chan- I am so thankful to have met my partner and best friend so early in life- we’ve made so many amazing memories together and continue to make more each and every day. He helps me be a better me while also loving all of me- the good- the bad- the sweet- the sour hehe. We have the same hopes and values and visions in life, and I cannot wait to see what we can create and do when two people like us come together!
3. My siblings- I am so thankful to have the cutest, creative, most coolest siblings ever. I love them so much and was basically born with built in best friends. Even if apart- we are close together in heart- and they inspire me and make me so proud!
4. My parents- I love my parents so much. Beyond what words can ever capture or say. They have gone through so much, have done so much, and taught me (and continue to) teach me so much. They are the cutest most loving people ever- and I am so happy and thankful I come from a couple like them!
5. My coven- I can’t imagine a world without my sisters- Lindsi and Drea. Spiritually awakening is beautiful and soooo amazing (but also incredibly tough and painful at times as we face the scariest, darkest parts of ourselves and others). They have shown me my light and loved me through the deepest of nights. I am truly so happy and thankful I have created, called in and nurtured these connections throughout all time with them- in every form and in every manifestation. Happy to be doing another cycle on Earth with these two- and can’t wait to continue shining our light and weaving magic throughout this realm and all dimensions!
6. Mother Earth- I love her so so so sooo much. She is beautiful beyond measure and stronger beyond what we can even imagine. She holds, gives, and withstands so much- and is still as stunning as ever. She has persevered throughout all time- and continues to love and show me the way. She surprises me with her magic and opens me up from the inside out. She helps me see myself - and how I reflect her ever being in my nature.
7. My body- I am beyond thankful for my body. She is what allows me to be here, typing, feeling, being now. She has carried me through everything. Shown up for everything. Keeps trying despite it all. Has gone through hell and back. Teaches me to slow down and to tune in. And she is so stunning, strong, and flexible. I promise to do all I can to support, love and nurture her- so that we may have a long and loving journey together!
8. My connection and commitment to spirit, life, learning. Even when it’s tough, I haven’t given up! I love reading and learning new ways of seeing, being and perceiving. My eyes, heart and body have opened up so much throughout the years- and I cannot wait to see the whole course and trajectory of where this devotion and curiosity can and will continue to take me!
9. Reciprocal, uplifting and loving relationships that I don’t have to question! People who see all of me, and love me day in and day out. People who fight everything inside of their hearts and minds to become the best them they can be- so we can have the most authentic, true, and amazing experiences together.
10. My inner child- I am thankful for her for being so sweet. She teaches me empathy, patience, love. She teaches me I deserve it all- at all times. She teaches me that I am a special being, and the most important thing I can do is nurture within this myself. I love her- I love her- I love her. She is so pure, bright and imaginative! Curious, intelligent and so beautiful.
11. My creativity- I love the many ways I am able to express myself. Whether that is through dance, writing, painting, talking, or more. It is so cool to be able to take a piece of me and make it into something tangible and “concrete”.
12. Technology- How cool is it that we are able to span time and space through it? In some form- with us being in age of aquarius a time of progression, advancements and change- it makes sense we are able to do it. In some form, it is a man made external way of time or space traveling- (it is possible in my experiences to also do this within yourself through meditation) without even leaving your own place, body or space.
13. The sky- I love the clouds and the sun and the ever changing nature of it all. I love the rainbow light and the energy that holds and caresses us all.
14. Cute clothes, accessories and items made by other people! I love seeing people do what they love and create what they feel called to! This world wouldn’t be what it is without the efforts of many- and I am happy there are people who do what they do, so I can do what I love to do also!
15. My growing awareness and consciousness- Every year I feel more blessed, lucky and at peace. For being only 25, I look forward to continuing to embody Elysian on Heaven on Earth more and more in the years to come.
16. My growing recognition of power- I love that I am understanding how to work with and align energies more and more. I love that I can feel and heal my chakras and call in things through them! I am excited and grateful knowing that when I lead with my heart and process through my belly - and energy centers- that I am in union with the divine- and that she supports me in living, breathing and weaving her dreamings through me.
17. My connection to all of the goddesses- her many faces and essences captivate and inspire me. I look forward to connecting with and learning about all of her meany embodiments so that I may further channel and nurture the awakening of the goddess within me.
18. Trying new things. I am so happy for all the things out there to experience! For example, today I will be going to Milwaukee and taking myself out on a date! (And how appropriate because it’s Friday- which is a day ruled by the planet of love, Venus!)
19. Sunny days- feels like to soak up the sun and feel it kindle the light and fire within my heart, body and belly!
20. Trees- If you’ve never hugged or held a tree- I highly recommend. Trees have been through so much and have a lot to teach us! They have been one of my biggest guides and lovers in life- and for that I am eternally grateful.
21. Fresh air- feels so good, and tastes so good! Breathing deeply and mindfully has helping me to release and let go of so much. And I can’t wait to continue working on and practicing breath work!
22. Change- although it frightens me and scares me and makes me uncomfortable- I know that all of the changes in my life have brought me to where I am now! Change is renewing, refreshing and exciting! It allows for new experiences, things, and people to flow into your life - and embracing change (knowing that it is coming for your highest good and knowing that you can get through anything that comes your way)- is the most amazing feeling.
23. Journaling- I love getting my thoughts out on paper, and being able to look back at it all! I have a lot to say/ and a lot I think about, so this is just one way to get it out somewhere other than just holding it all in! (It’s way too much to contain in this tiny little body lol)
24. Plants- I love my cutie plant babies! They light up my day and I love when they grow. Some of them have even traveled across the country from me (and all the plants I have are given to me by people I love- ex Alex’s mom, my mom, and Alex!)
25. All of you!!! Thank you for being here as who you are now! From the bottom of my heart- Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For all coming together to make my day and life so special, amazing and great!
Wishing you all a Happy Friday the 13th and even more wonderful weekend!
Go out there and go get ‘em tiger!
Elysian on Earth
5/10/2022 0 Comments
Reflecting on 23
5/10/2022 0 Comments
Reflecting on 24
Another year has passed, and tomorrow I turn 25! It’s crazy to think about, especially because my 23rd birthday just felt like yesterday. Looking back at my post from last year- although some things stay constant and flow with time- A LOT has shifted and moved all around me and within me this year. To start, I’m in a whole new state and will be celebrating with my boyfriend and his family this year! I’m back in my hometown (6 years later) - makes me giggle since it feels like some sort of heroine’s journey) and this is the part where I’m back to the beginning with a renewed attitude- only to begin another heroic journey of epic proportions😂. After all, I’m in the cusp and in the middle of huge changes unfolding in my life. My biggest, most daring and exciting move is on the horizon yet! I’ve let go of some people along the way- and I’ve also deepened my relationships with others. I’ve learned that release is inevitable and that it is in fact, even essential to your growth! I learned a lot about what I desire and don’t in life. I learned a lot more about what I deserve to have in my life as well as what I don’t. I have continued to put myself first- more and more. I have continued to shift and put my energy into things, places and people, that nurture and uplift me. They love me as I love them. And although I am far from my family and my friends, I feel more surrounded by their love than ever.💖
From where I stand here now, I stand concreted and supported by the knowing that the people who stand in my life beside and with me now, have been there for me through it all- through thick and thin- through good times and hard times- through the light and especially through the dark- and for that I am eternally grateful. Reflecting on last year and this year, what I am especially grateful for is that I get to live this life surrounded by and with so many beautiful people along the way. I am so thankful that the people in my life share the same love for growth, connection, understanding, and time with Mother Earth. I am so thankful that their paths before them, seem inherently and ever tangled and connected to mine. I am so lucky to have created so many memories and can’t wait to continue making even more. At 24- and almost 25, feeling this way, I feel incredibly blessed, and somehow, someway, I know, it can and will continue to get better than this. Somehow, and someway, year by year, life surprises me more and more, and I fall in love in more ways than one.
So with that, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on some of my 24th year- celebrating it for all it has shown me- writing about some lessons learned, my favorite memories, key milestones of this year- as well as wishes for the year 25 🦋
Main Lessons Learned🌈
Career: Stopped teaching, started an Only Fans😋
Worked at a cute small sister owned boutique, then worked my first serving job in Scottsdale, Arizona
REA Crystals gaining traction and making way more sales than ever before 💎
Elysian on Earth is growing- people have started commenting on my blog and I’m starting to see the ripple effects of my musings, writings and thoughts and that makes me so happy. If you’re reading this- know I appreciate you and love you!
Creativity: Made my first candle and resin art with my sister.
Painted Virgo, Leo and Taurus! (She’s almost done- aiming to complete her by the end of this season so about 9 more days)- I can’t wait to unveil her and show you guys more and more of my art in the years to come! Gemini season is next- who’s excited? (Cause I am beyond excited to challenge myself and paint TWINS!)
Created and planned shoots like no other- a literal dream come true, I have always loved photography and art. I think capturing the feminine form is so intimately beautiful and I can’t wait to continue to do more!
Began wire wrapping crystals and pendants again (see my Etsy store for pendants charged in the New Moon in Taurus + Solar Ecplise) and for that extra love love 💕😉
I am no longer afraid to show or be my self, I no longer feel limited or judged by my job/career and that feels so amazing. I feel free to be me and am getting better at shifting my perspectives and negative thought patterns/cycles as they come! For that I am so thankful, and so so sooo proud. Although this is something I am still working on, I am so proud of myself and all of my growth. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been beyond worth it to be authentic and unafraid.
I am getting way better at setting boundaries, communicating when it’s hard, letting go when I need, focusing on what I can control and loving myself harder! This made some people who were not meant to stay fall away, but for the people meant to continue on- I felt cheered on as they welcomed, loved and embraced this more true side of myself as I learned to support myself and my own growth more and more.
Really nurtured and deepened my relationship with my soul sister Drea- I am so thankful for her presence in my life each and every day. Her and Lindsi are my lovers for life 🥲 I wouldn’t be who I am without them, nor would this world be what it is without them.
Started working out more- this is in huge part inspired by both Drea and Lindsi too. Shoutout to them for being the fit, sexy goddesses they are and lighting the way for all others- just by doing their thang! 🌿
My parents moved to Arizona (as did my older sister and little brother)! I spent as much time with them as I could before moving- and although bittersweet in moving- I know that when I visit them, they’ll all be together (and considering my family is usually all over the place- this is HUGE!) I look forward to the next time I visit since we’ll be able to explore all my favorite spots as well as all the spots I still want to visit all together too!
After 6 years in Arizona- I moved back to Wisconsin (temporarily) and finally ended my long distance relationship (of 5 years) by moving in with him ;) We’re looking at roadtripping again here soon to buy our land and begin building our forever home and I cannot wait!🌈
I’ve gotten more into epigenetics and how our lives can often mirror our ancestors! PS Part of this is for me to read back on through the years- since I feel like a lot of times in previous years- I couldn’t tell you one year from the next- the next 25 years and on I want to make different and meaningful. I also love the idea that if one day when my children and children’s children are curious or are at the age I am now, that they feel connected to me, loved by me, and supported by me. After all, a lot of times are lives unknowingly mirror our families- and I think there is a lot to be learned from the ones who have lived before us and their experiences at that age! I for one already asked my mom what she was learning, doing, her likes and dislikes at 25- and will do the same with my dad. (I cannot wait to connect, giggle and laugh) at this united aging experience of becoming and being 25
Although I (my ego self and mind) struggles at times with transitions, expanding past my comfort zones, change, release, and control, looking through all of this, I know I am going the right way. I know that humans have always gone through and have thrived through so much and that I too can do the same! With my life as the canvas - I cannot wait to see where this path of love and heart continues to take me!
Wishes For 25
See my 2021-2022 Vision Board Here
PS I hope in writing this, you celebrate and express love and gratitude for the life you have lived, are living and will live! Wishing you lots of blessings and fun this next 365 days around the sun!
With a grateful heart and expansive vision, Thank you for reading and for being here with me- Elysian on Earth
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"She dances with the spirit of the sun, loves with the strength of wild water, moves with the moods of the moon, and creates with the wills of the wind.
She is magic. She is woman. "
She is magic. She is woman. "