Lessons Learned From My Father

Every person in life is a guide, a lesson, a teaching. What they show you can be good, it can be bad, and it can even be both- but ultimately- in choosing to extract the best from it all- and transmute it in the highest good and highest form- all of it helps you to grow, to become wiser, more compassionate, more loving and aware.

In this life and all lives- our fathers have a huge influence on the people we become or choose to be. The hope is that in a father what we find is their constant, safe, gentle, nurturing and guiding hand- that ultimately helps to shine and reinforce the light of all that we are- with a protective force and energy that is unmatched by any other.

For myself, I have been gifted with the the divine experience of having a father who is like this and for that I am eternally grateful.

This post is ultimately dedicated to capturing the essence and teachings of my dad- on Father’s Day, June 19th- for being a constant rock and source of love, inspiration, awakening and pride for myself and so many others. He has seen me when I fall, he has seen me when I have been uncertain and has always believed in me through it all- even when I have lacked the faith or vision to see this with myself. He has picked me up, and made me smile even when I thought it impossible. He is a force to be reckoned with and is truly a gift to this world.

So with that- here are the many lessons and teachings my father in this life has given me- that I would like to reflect on, integrate and share here to you all- today and forever more!

1. Children have a lot to teach you. Just because you are older and more experienced- does not mean that you know it all. Apologize if you are wrong, respect their feelings, and take accountability in the way that your fear, traumas and reactions may harm them. Taking ownership of this allows children to know you too are human- that you too make mistakes- and that instead of defining or restricting yourself by these- it can be used as an opportunity to extend grace, compassion and growth. You do not need to be a perfect person- but it is important to not only be willing to see these things about yourself, but also admit and share them then continue to learn from them too!
2. The spirit world is real. Before I ever had any personal experiences with spirits- my father shared me his! He used to have the spirit of a woman who would come into his bedroom sobbing in the night. One day- he asked her what was wrong- and she finally disappeared. Looking back- I think he was able to gift her something she may not have received in her life- and that is what finally helped her to move on.
3. Give hugs. Love on people. Tell them you are proud and thankful for them. Say it as many times as you can. Remind people how special they are and always share your heart and love with them.
4. Talk to people! You never know who you may meet or connect with in a grocery store, or anywhere in this world. My father has always had this ability to bridge the gaps and awkwardness of so many places, spaces and people. In doing this- he has been rewarded with so much- all because he was brave and caring enough to put himself out there!
5. Take care of your family. In this life- they are your family for a reason- and through you- they are able to experience a love and connection they may not otherwise have found or been a part of in this life or previous! Remember that your parents were once children too- and that although they may know a lot- they don’t know everything. Allow them to learn from you too with love through love- just as you can from them.
6. Forgive- and forgive often. Although this is one I am still working on- I have seen the magic of what can happen (through him) when you find it in your heart to be compassionate, understanding and kind. It gives the gift of healing both for yourself and the other person. However in doing so, be sure to be honest, allow yourself to feel, and keep boundaries as needed so that your relationship with yourself and this person may thrive.
7. Spend time in nature. Learn from her and listen to her. Share your gift and connection to her with others. My father has always been able to tell what kind of animals are around us and has an uncanny and actually superhuman sense and ability to see her beings, messages and patterns. He has always been able to spot so many animals from so far away- and this is a skill and sense I definitely picked up from him!
8. It is in fact possible to see or predict the future. My dad when I was little told me about a reoccurring dream he had of a truck on a highway overturned. He had no idea why it came through and why it kept popping up until one day he saw that same truck overturned on a highway in real life. This made him believe (and me too) that for whatever reason- some of the things that come through to you and that you see- may actually be visions of the future.
9. You are who you allow yourself to be. Despite your past, and maybe in spite of it- you can become something great. You may have never had a good role model- but that doesn’t mean you can’t become what you needed most when you were little. You may have never had a good parent or guiding force growing up- my dad didn’t meet his dad until his 20s, and with his mother he was actually put into foster care at one point- but that doesn’t mean you can’t be amazing for your children when you are older. In fact, taking what you did not receive or get- and gifting that to your children- you are able to transmute the bad into the good and use it to make you a more mindful, loving, and guiding parent.
10. Believe that you have a higher purpose. Although you may not always see it or know what it is- in trusting life and allowing it to breathe through you and guide you- you will find yourself in a place where you never thought possible. In seeing the trajectory and course of my dad’s own life- I am better able to see that the universe when you follow your heart and try your best- can and will help you see, grow, and receive so much love.
11. The gift you give yourself is the gift you give your children. In striving to be better and do better- you create a world where your children are able to learn, grow and experience more. In letting this lead your heart, your actions and your drive- you can and will achieve amazing things for this world.
12. Try new things! You never know what you might like, be good at or find out! My dad is someone who has a wide range of interests and abilities and it so cool to see them all blossom within one person. I love that he is silly, but serious. I love that he is wise but also childlike. It is even cooler that despite any fears or limitations you may think you may have- you can achieve things you thought were once impossible for you! (Ie: becoming a master chief in the Navy even though when you graduated you could hardly read or write). In being brave and confident enough to go after and accomplish these things- you show and model to others what is possible!
13. Say yes- reach out to others, and stay in contact. Allow people to give to you- and be open to receiving! You never know where this can and will take you! And you never know who may need your presence or being in their life.
14. Give your children freedom to be who they are even if you cannot understand or if it is different than what you may have known, been taught or expected! In being open to their teachings- you grow, learn, and heal so much too!
15. Follow your heart and your interests! This is the compass of life that helps you to create a life full of love, amazing experiences and a heart full of gratitude.
16. Communicate your feelings, your experiences and what you know with others! In embodying and modeling and sharing this- you become the bridge for so much wisdom, growth and connection.
17. Say what you mean and do as you say! This is what allows people to have faith in you and follow your leadership and decisions.
18. Do what you’re good at and allow others the opportunity to do what they’re good at too! In doing so- you are able to achieve way more than you ever could or would alone.
19. Be relentless in the pursuit of what you want. When he first met my mother- he knew it was her. Although she was 3 years older, they didn’t speak the same language (she spoke Japanese), had a daughter and was still healing from her last marriage and a man who turned out to not be what he could have been- he pursued and persisted- and now, together, they have created a family so full of love, joy and cuteness - I thank my stars, God, and the Goddess for bringing them and all of us together as one.
20. Don’t let age or experience or fear hold you back. If it is calling you- trust it- and give it all you got.

With all of my love and wishing all fathers everywhere a Happy Father’s Day!

Rinka aka Elysian on Earth