Hello, I Am...

I AM...is such an odd statement. A hard statement. A powerful statement. But the most basic I AM...introduction we make everyday is our name. With that, Hello, I AM...Rinka.

I AM... is essentially the concept of claiming an idea, a role, a trait, as a part of what makes you your whole self. For example, like a name, we recognize it as ours, and carry it as ours, it is who we are. In going beyond the surface, however, it can and often does take one a lot of thought and time to reach deep and recognize the qualities of yourself that can also complete the sentence. After all, we are multidimensional and faceted beings that have a lot of small (and often conflicting) parts that make each of us who we are. In claiming all the parts of yourself and recognizing that even the most contradictory of ideas and concepts can co-exist in one place, one self, peacefully and harmoniously, you give power to the whole. From starting within you begin to understand without, the differences + the duality of what makes others around you who they are. And how ultimately no matter how different we may seem on the surface, we are small parts of the same.  Learning to respect and appreciate these differences can actually bring us closer together rather than further apart.

As such, it is important to remember that we are often our own worst critics, the so-called, and self- labeled “bad” and “good” parts are the most meaningful to who you really are. To who others are. We cannot be or become one without the other. For in order for you to say “I AM...loved”, to truly know and appreciate what love is, what it means to love and be loved by others, you must know also know what it feels like to not be loved, to not love another. In order for you to say “I AM...empathetic” you must feel and understand pain, confusion, and hardship. You must understand what it means for you to only care about yourself, for others to not understand. In order for you to know passion, the fire of life, you had to have said “I AM...angry”, I have an abundance of energy or emotion! I can create, but I can also choose to destroy. In accepting and affirming all that we have been, all that we are, and all that we want to be, you practice unconditional love. You understand and acknowledge all the past parts of yourself, yet choose the present “I AM…” to define yourself in the now and for the future.

In keeping that in mind, I decided to use my first post as an “I AM..” activity. Both so you can know a bit about me, but also and most importantly so I can know myself. This post is also something I will be coming back to time and time again, as I continue to grow and become more aware of all that makes me, me. 

Honestly, when I did this activity it definitely made me sit at the blinking cursor for a good while, slightly if not extremely uncomfortable. It felt almost like bragging. I also realized in this exercise, that it is often easier to turn the eye outward instead of inward and I even thought to myself, I could do this better on any of my family members, Alex, my love, or Lindsi my best friend. This thought then lead me to the realization that we naturally do this on a daily basis, label people, in passing and even those we love without thinking about how these labels may also relate to oneself.
Using our outer eyes, it is more comfortable and easy to observe the people and the world around us, remarking both in mind and aloud about other "She IS... sweet", "He IS...a great artist", “She IS..a fighter”, “He is…” ‘She is....” than to sit, use our inner eye, and look inside ourselves.

But why?


Because it is so much easier to look at and label others and also define ourselves by others, than to do so for ourselves.
In initially thinking about all the things I admire and notice about the people I love, I also began to realize that I too shared a lot of the traits I saw in them. After all, like attracts like, and the things you actively notice in others are usually a reflection of what you held, hold or want to hold inside yourself. So while the first things to pop up were definitely how others had defined me my whole life, or how I defined myself by others, the further I got, the more I realized no one knows you better than you. Therefore, no one can define you better than yourself. For who are you if you had no connections left? If you had nothing left to your name? At the very core of your soul, when you strip away everything leaving only you. Who are you?
Although identifying with other people and relationships are important, it is SO important to realize the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. So instead of placing your energy into others and pointing out things about them, use the outer world to practice greater self-awareness and use it to gather even more knowledge on the things about you! What do your relationships say about you? How do you carry yourself? How do you respond to certain people or situations? What do you love or struggle to love within yourself? Where can you and do you want to put your energy? What would you like to cultivate or grow within yourself? After all, the choice is and always has been yours to be exactly who you want to be and are.

In taking the time to listen to yourself and understand, to see yourself with eyes anew, glittering, eager to understand and uncover all the parts that make you, you will fall in love (with yourself) in a way you have never known.

Furthermore, the more you do this, the more you can recognize where you want to grow. In saying “I AM…” you can begin to set an intention. The intention being that although you may not yet recognize it within yourself, affirming to yourself that you are, means you are already becoming consciously aware towards the choices that will create that change.

and remember, even when these statements or you change, you are who you always have been. You will always be you through all the changes and you will never lose yourself for you have simply created or cultivated a changed and more expanded version of all of who you are.

With that, I hope you are able to use my journaling towards self-discovery as a starting point to your own journey  in finding + expressing your true, authentic self.

So with that here I AM...
I AM...a daughter.
I AM...a sister.
I AM...a friend.
I AM…a teacher. (Edit- I taught in a traditional middle school for 2 years from August 2019- May 2021. I am now stepping into and exploring myself as a spiritual teacher.) 
I AM...a student. (Edit- Although I am now graduated- I will forever consider myself a student of life!) 
I AM...a barista. (Edit- I am no longer working at a coffee shop- but I am so happy to have coffee making as a learned skill set in this life! I would love to one day open up my own coffee shop!)
I AM...a writer.
I AM...an artist.
I AM...a photographer.
I AM… a dancer.
I AM… a trailblazer.
I AM... a nature enthusiast.
I AM... a water lover.
​I AM... hardworking.​
I AM... infinite.
I AM... valuable.
I AM... considerate.
I AM... funny.
I AM... supportive.
I AM... giving.
I AM... kind.
I AM... loyal.
​I AM... learning.
I AM...a force of justice.
I AM...conscientious.
​I AM... accepting.
I AM… grateful.
I AM... musical.
I AM… blessed.
I AM… happy.
I AM… peaceful.
I AM… a listener.
I AM… aware.
I AM...creative.
I AM...loving.
I AM… love.
I AM...loved.
I AM...light.
I AM...passionate.
I AM...guided.
I AM...a guide.
I AM...spiritual.
I AM...empathetic.
I AM... inviting.
I AM...patient.
I AM... genuine.
​I AM... intuitive.
I AM...kind.
I AM... caring.
I AM...brave.
I AM...intelligent.
I AM...balanced.
I AM...strong.
I AM… a planner.
I AM... wild.
I AM... fun.
I AM... exciting.
I AM... open.
I AM... honest.
I AM… organized.
I AM...powerful.
I AM... divine.
I AM... magical.
I AM... infinite.
I AM... deserving.
I AM... understanding.
I AM...playful.
I AM...present
I AM...the creator of my own future.

Goals and intentions:
I AM... resourceful.
I AM... innovative.
​I AM... patient.
I AM... an entrepreneur
I AM... transforming.
I AM... a survivor.
I AM...healthy.
I AM...spontaneous.
I AM...grounded.
I AM...abundant.
I AM... a cook.
​I AM... a healer.​
I AM... a gardener.
I AM...a mother.
I AM...a world traveler.
I AM...a land-owner.
I AM...an author.
I AM...a wife.
I AM...a grandma.
I AM...a great grandma.
I AM… world change.

Everything I want, I already have and am. So, here’s to channeling our inner gods and goddesses each and every day as we harness our “I AM” energy to create heaven (Elysian) on earth, or the world and life we envision.

To a shared collectively brighter and more loving future both for ourselves and all others.
Many blessings ✞✞✞ and much love always,

Elysian on Earth ☽